At some point, life got so difficult for King David that all he wanted to do was escape. “Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly way and be at rest –“, classic flight response to overwhelming circumstances.
But who could possibly cause this brave king to want to flee to the desert, in his troubled mind now a place of shelter? Not the usual suspects: “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him.” Yet David is deeply distressed. His mind is troubled, his heart is in anguish; he is distraught, terrified and horrified. These are not emotions we are often encouraged to dwell on for they are so very negative, poisonous even. Yet, David did. What is more, he did it in the context of prayer – “Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea; hear me and answer me.” This psalm is not a piece of self-indulgent, self-pitying, navel-gazing poetry. David is praying and he is praying honestly.
Might this be a Selah moment, a moment to stop and think about the need to be truly honest when we pray? This is the word of God, and David is giving us permission to come to our heavenly Father with whatever is in our hearts, no holds barred. In fact, he is giving us words for when we are too hurt to find our own. How else can God administer the antidote of His promises of peace, joy, security and deliverance if we do not confess the poison of stress, anguish, terror and horror?
David’s honesty also encompasses how he sees the situation and how he wants it resolved. He is labouring under the anger of some new enemy. And this anger is causing chaos: violence and strife, malice and abuse, threats and lies. “Destructive forces are at work in the city” is how David summarizes it. David feels betrayed, opposed, attacked, deceived. It gets so extreme that the very sight and sound of this new enemy throws him into inner turmoil. So he wishes them confused, confounded and dead before their time. David is not going to flee to the desert after all; instead he proposes to God a different solution – disgrace followed by swift and permanent removal. David’s hurt turns to anger and to its natural child, revenge. A classical fight response.
Surely, wishing disgrace and death on an enemy is even less acceptable than dwelling on how bad they make us feel so perhaps we need another Selah moment. Far from removing him from God’s presence, David’s bitter feelings and vengeful anger enable him to access God. David knows that God is a God of justice as well as mercy and that in ‘naming and shaming’ his enemy in prayer, he is exposing the evil of violated trust and ruptured community. Isn’t that what God does through His prophets? Isn’t that what we are supposed to do as Christians?
David’s prayer becomes particularly poignant when we discover who David’s enemy is – “But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked in the throng at the house of God.” Can you feel David’s pain, anger and confusion? This is no stranger, no ‘other’ like so many David fought throughout his reign. Their covenant of love is broken and his friend’s words, smooth as butter and more soothing than oil, have become like drawn swords, carrying betrayal and war. This is as dark as it gets. Upside down and inside out, there is only one thing David can hold on to – the belief that God hears his voice. As he casts his cares on the Lord evening, morning and noon, he declares that God will ransom and sustain him. God will never let David fall. “But as for me, I trust in you.”
One final Selah moment. David has given us words to express our feelings of anger and betrayal with rigorous honesty. He shows us that these feelings are a gateway into God’s presence. Now, his final confession of trust puts the problem and solution firmly in God’s hands. We don’t know how this appalling situation resolved. There is no fairy tale ending. Just as well, not all broken relationships end happily ever after. But we do know that David prayed for his enemy to be driven into the hands of God. I cannot think of a better place for anyone to be. Can you?
You might like to read Psalm 55 now.
The inspiration for this piece comes from Professor Ellen F Davis profound insight into the cursing psalms. She teaches that “the cursing psalms are the vehicle whereby we yield to God our own claim for vengeance, and that is the crucial first step to the healing of the entire community.”
Hineni 